Well, I haven't written much lately, and this idea for a post has been holding my heart hostage for a while. I think it's time to get it out.
Brent doesn't really read my blog, he's a busy man, and when he has down time on the computer, well, he likes to look at motorcycle stuff, and, well, I don't have that on my blog, so....I don't mind, though. I don't do this for him. I'm not really sure who I do this for, I mean, family and friends, but mostly I think I do it for myself. Sometimes I just feels good to get my brain out there, to have somewhere that my thoughts can live, even if it's the "web". So, anyway....
There are SO many reasons I respect my husband. I can't write about all of them, just a few. This isn't about why I LOVE him. I don't think I would ever be able to verbalize that in a way that would fully describe it. This is all about admiration and respect.
9 1/2 years ago, Brent married me, and every day, he chooses to remain true to that commitment. I don't think it's a surprise to any of you that I am a handful. I know it's not a surprise to my mom. I'm pretty sure she was surprised that anyone would volunteer to deal with that for the rest of their lives! I'm full of drama, emotions, highs, lows, tears, screams, laziness, hyperactivity, unproductiveness, messiness, and craziness. Brent doesn't love me in spite of all that. He loves me because of all that. He knows that those things are WHO I am, and that, in and of itself, is worth admiring. Believe me. I'm a whole crockpot of crazy.
9 1/2 years ago, Brent promised to always provide for me, and whatever family we became. Every day, he does his best to do that. I admire nothing more than a man who will do whatever it takes to provide for his family. I think alot of people say that they will do whatever is needed to provide, but when it comes down to it, I think most people would rather have a glamorous job.
Brent always wanted to finish college, for himself. To get a degree, and do something that he loved. Brent has always wanted to be in full time ministry, to be able to serve the Lord full time as his job. But he knew that, more important than what he wanted for his life, was to take care of the family God has given him. College will come, it will always be there.
Many people focus on getting to their "dream job" or "have a job doing what you love". Sometimes I feel bad and a little bit to blame for Brent never reaching that goal. And then one day it hit me. Brent IS doing what he loves. He IS doing his dream job. He is a dad. He is a husband. And he takes care of our family. THAT is his dream. It's not glamorous. It's not always fun. But Brent is good at it. I don't think very many little boys want to grow up and operate heavy equipment, lay pipe, and work on the "business end of a shovel", or even be a host and bus boy at a restaurant. But when it comes down to it, a job is a job is a job. It's a means to an end. If you DO get to do what you love that is awesome! Keep doing it, and keep loving it. But always know that if that job falls through, or that job isn't helping you to take care of what God has given you to take care of, maybe it's time to remember what the real "dream job" is. Brent lives that out every day.
My dear friend Josh and I were talking today, and he affirmed this for me. He said that alot of guys like to say that if they had to, they'd be running the fryer at McD's to make ends meat, but when it came down to it, most of them wouldn't do it. Josh said that is something he's always admired in Brent, his family comes before his pride. I'd like to think that it would never come to that, but it might. And I know that my husband will always be there to take care of us. That's just the kind of man he is.
Someday, maybe Brent will get to get up and go to work every day doing an occupation that he loves and having a "dream job", but for now, I know that he is content just to be living the "dream life".